I guess it’s all how you perceive it.
To one person, the fine line he or she is walking is a tight rope raised high above the earth.
To another person, it might be a plank three feet wide an inch from the ground.
I guess it’s all about perspective.
My first daughter, Daphne, will be three years old in a few short months. I look back on my pregnancy and those first few months at home with her. What an enormous shift in time and energy management.
My husband and I woke up a few times a night to feed her, comfort her, and “reset” her. I cherished nap time in that I too could nap. Took us a little longer than it used to take for us to pack up and head out the door for a grocery run. I could not devote unlimited minutes each day to my hobbies, talents, school, or housework (ha!).
We told ourselves that we were just fine with one kid.
That was, of course, until she got a little older.
She transitioned from having all of the food on her body to having most of it actually hit her mouth.
She transitioned from being a little toad or potato to crawling and chasing the puppies around the house.
She moved from “Mama” to “More milk so my tummy won’t hurt?”
And I knew I could make more room in my heart and home for another baby.
We had a miscarriage and took some time for reflection. We devoted ourselves again to Daphne and reset ourselves.
Our second girl arrived last year, Penny.
With her came more restless nights and lethargic days. All while riding the back of an energetic and curious two year old.
Juggling a two year old and a newborn is not easy but it can be very rewarding. Daphne incorporated Penny into our daily routine. When Penn cries, Daphne rushes over to comfort her by gently stroking her cheek while saying “It’s okay Penny! Penny-love!”
I am thankful.
I know that I have room in my heart and home for another baby. For another opportunity to love. For another chance to teach. For another reason to laugh and for another reason to cry.
A big family confuses some people. Astonishes some. Scares others. Garners pity from some people.
Growing a family isn’t for the faint of heart. It takes a lot of strength. A lot of sacrifice. A lot of patience. A lot of love.
For one person, having a few kids is a walk in the park. For another it is a swim with the sharks.
Perhaps I’m too busy focusing on the distant, very far and distant future, when my children will be grown. Perhaps that view clouds my view now of Penny having a poop explosion in her diaper on the floor. Maybe I’m too busy thinking about what conversations my daughters and I will hold when they turn 28. Perhaps thinking about that scrambles the shrill screeches of my daughter chasing my annoyed dogs around the house for the eighth lap. It’s all about perspective.
I have room in my heart and home.
Bring it on.