Just for fun. But there is a little truth behind every joke, no?
There are so many different personalities I’ve encountered by joining a mom’s group and by observing other parents. In my short term as a parent (16 months and counting), I’ve noticed some interesting types of moms.
Here are the 10 types of moms you’ll encounter online.
1. The Busy Bee.
She’s too busy doing __________ to be online a lot of the time. She’ll post infrequently and remember to throw a picture of her kid online if she can find the time. Social media isn’t her priority though she may secretly wish she was curled up with her laptop under a blanket fort immune to dirty diapers and sticky baby fingers.
2. The Advocate.
She’s latched onto a cause and you know it. She is often seen as the “guru” with helpful advice yet adversely seen as a pretentious know it all. Causes to which she has latched include one or more of the following: Breastfeeding, cloth diapering, vaccinations, car seat safety, organic ______, sleep schedules, aftermarket car seat gadgets, perils of CIO and/or perils of coddling, and so on. Can offer unsolicited advice but also offers a vast wealth of knowledge and different perspectives.
3. The Plain Jane.
Approximately 70% of her updates, advice, and pictures are not baby related. Baby specific information consumes 20% of her posts and 10% is crossover (to include pictures of her holding her baby, family pictures, etc). Has a decent balance on her different roles.
4. The Naked Mole Rat.
Ah yes. A person who is not seen (dwells underground or in home) and is believed to have an ugly heart. I’ve made a table for your ease and comfort in receptivity.
Here also is an illustrated reference. Thank you, Anjelica Huston and the Makeup Crew of the film The Witches for the excellent example of an Internet Mom Naked Mole Rat:
Beware, these types of internet moms can be tough to shake.
Bow down to her, she is online all the time. She has a set of 10 arms and at least one head if not two or three additional heads devoted to other tasks. Her arms have many uses…two for typing, two for playing dolls with her child, two for preparing dinner, two for pouring herself coffee, and two for sifting through her textbooks researching information so she can be the first to comment and first to show her knowledge. She is also known as ‘The Great Multitasker.” What is amazing is she seems to be online all day long, available for chat or commenting. She’s popular until she becomes overbearing and thinks she is the source of life for all of humanity.
6. The embodiment of rainbow dust, unicorn sparkles, and puppy kisses.
Still believes in Santa. Uncommonly chipper about changing dirty diapers and often comes off as naive. Perhaps compensating with kindness and optimism for the lack of positive and joyful experiences she encounters in real life. Is often overlooked. Can be a troll undercover.
7. The Snarky One
Defends her snark and drips with sarcasm and dry humor. Can come off as a jerk when people take her seriously. Often searches out Number 6 mom and reminds her that “Life isn’t all rainbows and puppies.” Other moms and people grow weary of the dry snark though some feed off of it. Could be a defense mechanism.
8. The Legacy Nerd
Eager to pass on her love for ____________. Usually a nerd or geek, craving to leave a legacy of love for an often underappreciated game/book/team/movie/idea. Dons her child in licensed gear and is eager to see the fruition of her investment in the product placement. Often, it’s just cute and in good fun although you know what they say…it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Can be expensive. Likes Cosplay and quirky things.
Wants to keep her kid in a plastic bubble. National emergency is called when her child has a sniffle. Usually charts her child’s bowel movements and assembles the information into a nice bar graph bi-monthly. Reads into everything and self diagnoses. Not necessarily a bad thing, but plastic bubble enforcer needs to come down to earth every once in a while and stop get some fresh air. Child needs to escape from the bubble!
10. The Troll
Parallel to the Naked Mole Rat mom, the troll just wants to watch the world burn. She’ll throw gas and matches your way. Beware.
Thanks to Wikipedia and Google for the info and pictures!