Ms. Miley Cyrus, we must share words.

To the respectable and honorable Ms. Cyrus:

I cannot fathom how a simple letter from an average American mother could possible touch your heart, but I shall dream for a moment. I am 26 years old, 6 years your senior. I have just recently had my daughter, Daphne. I am happily married to a wonderful man and consider myself to be a mediocre musician and artist.

Your life as an entertainer and performer is one that I don’t pretend to understand or comprehend. You face challenges and pressure from many sources. I respect you for your work ethic and drive to accomplish your dreams. You achieve the success you which you set your mind. I admit that I am not a follower of your music and I do not keep up with you on social media or in the tabloids. A letter could have been drafted to many a movie star or musician, but you were the one who happened to most recently capture my attention.

For your music’s sake you act, dress, and behave a specific way. This fact remains true for all entertainers and performers no matter the method of their artistic delivery. As a young woman I listened to popular music and sang the words by memory, hours devoted to listening to the songs on the tape, CD, and radio. Facts that you must accept are these: You have devoted fans and followers who support you, these fans idolize you, and young women crave to emulate your style and attitude.

Even the most discerning fan can forget that the music is an act. Sometimes the attitude of the musician is an exaggeration. The line between the musician’s stage persona and reality can be blurry to an excitable fan. A fan loves you and would follow you into a fire. You blaze a new trail with a microphone and specific words. Fans are eager to follow where you lead. 

As a mother of a 7 month old girl, I am concerned. Your lyrics speak of moral values and decisions that I would not allow my child to follow. Heck, even I wouldn’t follow them and I am concerned for the group you have assembled behind you supporting your logic.

Blindsided is an understatement of how I felt after watching your music video for “We Can’t Stop.” If I may, I shall boil your song down to the essence. Now, if I’ve misunderstood your message, I must really be missing something.

We party. It’s great. We often party all night. 

We will continue to party and do exactly what we want, when we want. We won’t accept concern or advice from anyone and no one can tell us that we are wrong. 

Comparing our dancing and bodies to strippers in strip clubs is glamorous. Going to the bathroom to do drugs is a great thing to do and it’s popular. 

We make the rules and we are the ones in power. 

So there we have it.
Indeed, Ms. Cyrus, you maintain a level of power that many people on this earth have no hope of attaining. As I mentioned before, you have a devoted group of fans who support your beliefs and the message behind your music. If I may rant a moment concerning the message you display with this song, I promise I won’t take up much more of your time.

We party. It’s great. We often party all night. 

I love to party. I love birthday parties. I love to have a shindig with some friends near an open fire or around a table playing Settlers of Catan or Canasta. A group of friends together enjoying each other’s company is great. I can’t, however, imagine partying daily and adopting the party attitude as my lifestyle. I imagine I would get burned out fairly quickly. Devoting my attention and concern only as far as I could hold out my red Solo cup is depressing.

There is life beyond the cup, Ms. Cyrus, life beyond the little white line.

Spending time enjoying life by means of partying should be enjoyed in moderation. Now, from the looks of your music video, your time spent partying with friends include:

  • performing sexual acts or giving physical attention to members of both sexes
  • dressing to provoke
  • either lounging around sexually or spasmodic raving
  • hitting/slapping people around you
  • Drug use (smoking cigars or snorting cocaine in the bathroom, as your lyrics glamorize).
  • grabbing women’s (conservatively private) body parts

Might I suggest a few alternatives to the self glorifying, selfish, and tacky partying methods you’ve chosen? Other ways to enjoy time with friends include volunteering at a local food bank, at an animal shelter or refuge, getting involved with at-risk teens and youth, picking up litter/trash in dirty areas of town, giving blood, going house to house collecting canned goods and clothes for homeless and needy shelters, or even starting a new foundation or program for a cause about which you feel passionate. Think Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library, Derek Zoolander’s “The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too”, or others such as these.

Instead of spending time in a house, hotel room, or club gratifying your every bodily function, why not escape the box and devote your energy to more worthwhile causes than keeping the Jack Daniel’s Distillery in business?

We will continue to party and do exactly what we want, when we want. We won’t accept concern or advice from anyone and no one can tell us that we are wrong. Only God can judge us. 

Forgive me for being forward, but you are being ridiculous here, Ms. Cyrus. A fool is defined by Merriam-Webster as ‘a person lacking in judgment or prudence’ and even ‘a harmlessly deranged person or one lacking in common powers of understanding.’ At the core of the message you seek to front with your most recent music release, you are disregarding basic forms of health and safety:

  • Freely giving sexual attention. STDs aren’t old news, sister. Neither is abstinence or having pride in your privacy.
  • Enjoying physically abusing those around you (yea, even just slapping). This is called violence. Domestic violence. Slippery slope argument claims this would lead to more power dominance in other areas (rape, abuse to animals, child abuse, etc).
  • Drug use. You’re *really* going to condone drug use?

For a minute here, let’s imagine a future with men and women who adopt the logic you are proclaiming in your song.

Drug use in teens is glamorous because musicians and celebrities claim it is and practice what they preach. Men and women living only for sexual pleasure, thus increasing sexually transmitted diseases and leaving a long wake of emotional scarring. Tact and modesty are no longer practiced in the youth of America, thus, young women dress to provoke attention and young men seek to give that attention. Life is all about pleasure and experiencing pleasure. Hardworking attitudes are replaced with lazy-party-all-day  methods of thinking. The workforce in America is weak. The workforce is riddled with a wave of young men and women who feel entitled to high pay at little effort, time off and call-ins where they deem necessary, and lack of pride in their work or attaining applicable skills to better the world around themselves. As I said before, they can only devote their attention and passions as far as they can hold their red Solo drinking cup.

These boys and girls are belligerent towards common sense and logic. They live for pleasure, only working as hard as they need to earn enough money to save up for their next weekend party or drug fix. These types of people are cruel and ignore older generations because after all, “What do they know? They’re old and they can’t tell us what to do or how to live. We make our own decisions.” They ignore wisdom and are proud of it. I imagine they don’t care about voting because “my vote doesn’t count anyway…what does it matter?” and so nothing changes in government.

Self entitled. Selfish. Lazy. Addicted. Hurt. Lonely. Sure, they may also be fun to be around, comical, laid back, or cool.

I would also imagine the quality of life in social gatherings would decline, as each person is unwilling to yield to any other person’s ways of thinking. Polite phrases such as “excuse me” or “please” would be exchanged for distrusting looks and self imposed feelings of being judged.

Lastly, I agree. Only God can judge you. And this should scare you. If you use that phrase, then it follows that you believe in God. If you believe in God, you have a knowledge that he judges right from wrong, good from bad, and holy from unholy. If you have that knowledge, you realize that our actions and thoughts have lasting effects on us even past death. If you are living a life in love of God, you should be scared. If you are living a life for your own self pleasure, you should be scared. We live in fear of a God who can judge our actions and thoughts, because he indeed has the power to send us to heaven or hell.

Don’t misunderstand me. God doesn’t want us to go to hell. He loves us. We each bring judgement on ourselves. This judgement comes whether you are a God-fearing person or just another person on the street who hides behind that phrase for self affirmation in his or her corrupt deeds.

Comparing our dancing and bodies to strippers in strip clubs is glamorous. Going to the bathroom to do drugs is a great thing to do and it’s popular. 

My daughter will maintain a life of modesty. Because I love my daughter, I will guard what forms of media I allow into her life. I will censor her music, computer time, and movies. Why? Because the person I want my daughter to become is not one riddled with emotional scarring due to meaningless sexual encounters, drug abuse, or hostility towards good sense and wisdom. I will shield her from music like your song “We Can’t Stop” and from the methods of thinking that follow suit. You may choose to live that life.

My letter is not to address the livelihood of men and women who strip. I shall avoid that. Concerning modesty and prudence in regards to dancing and how we present our bodies, I shall address the notion that abstinence and ‘saving oneself for marriage’ with one sexual partner is not antiquated. Yea, it’s a stretch, but bear with me. Dressing to provoke sexual thoughts or actions is shallow and foolish. Beauty fades. Our bodies are not always going to be young, tight, toned, or rock hard. Building a life based upon pleasure in those attributes alone will yield heartache and despair once lost. Giving ‘love’ to anyone at any time is shallow, carnal, and meaningless love. I’m a huge fan of sex with my husband, so it’s not that I’m a prude. My sexual love has always been and always will be reserved for one man. I cannot imagine believing that having sex with anyone at any time is normal or that it leaves no emotional trace behind. There are those who believe otherwise, but I am writing with my own opinions.

You may “run things” and believe that “things don’t run we.” I applaud your enthusiasm to set your own path and break free from the constraints that others place upon you. This is what makes us unique and the youth of America need to realize their power and strength. However, I fear that you are going where I can’t follow (thank you, Samwise Gamgee!), and that I ultimately do not want to follow.

We make the rules and we are the ones in power. 

You ought to be ashamed. Young women look up to you and you squander that power with glamorizing shallow and corrupt lifestyle choices.

It is your life. You are entitled to your own decisions. You can do what you want, say what you want, and love who you want—just like you sing in your song. My decision is that I will not support your music or your lifestyle, Ms. Cyrus. Pretending that you are not leaving a wake of hurt along with your musical success is foolish. I encourage you to re-evaluate your priorities. Do not ignore the implications of your music or actions. Simply avoiding the thought of it does not negate the existence.

Your renown is valuable. So is your poise. Don’t sell them so cheap.

Sincerely, and with the deepest concern for the future of the youth of America,

Jenna M. Weaver

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4 thoughts on “Ms. Miley Cyrus, we must share words.

  1. Melanie says:

    Well said, my dear. Well said. I had never heard the song before so after reading this, I watched the video on YouTube. I am absolutely disgusted. I can’t believe she’s only 20 years old and that this is what young girls who idolize her are going to see. Good for you for choosing to raise your daughter differently. I know she will grow up to respect herself more then Miley obviously does. I think the only thing I would change about your letter is how you addressed her. There is nothing respectful or honorable about who she is after hearing this song.

    1. laecen says:

      Perhaps the address is meant to be ironic. It would be hard for me to believe she is just pretending to have that lifestyle or moral set.

      1. Melanie says:

        I know it was 🙂 I totally agree. You can’t sing a song like that and believe in the message. As for the video, well, that makes her message speak volumes!

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