3 months old, 2 appointments, and 1 heck of a day.

Daphne has been to the doctor’s office more in her lifetime than I have.

I feel like I should be on a first name basis with the nurses and staff. I should just bring cinnamon rolls next time we have a weight check (Next Friday, a week and 2 days from now).

Sam and I took bets for Daph’s weight. He said 9lbs 10oz, and I said 9lbs 12oz.

We stripped her down and put her on the scale.

9lbs 8oz.

SAME as 5 days ago.

At least it wasn’t weight loss.

I figured Dr. Doom would walk in and reprimand us. Instead, she came in happy and showed us the notorious weight vs age chart. Daphs is now in the 6th percentile and in the black instead of the red.


Dr. Doom was pleased to hear that I had made a lactation consultation with a breastfeeding coordinator at WIC. She said she was anxious to hear how much Daphne was taking in with each feeding.

I had been recording all of my feeding times and amounts for the past week and a half. I was a bit disappointed when Dr. Doom didn’t really even look at my information on the chart or ask about it. I suppose she doesn’t care how Daphs is getting fed as long as she is getting fed.

Sam, Daphs, and I took lunch at the food court on base. We looked for planners but came out empty handed.

I dropped Sam off at the squadron and picked up a few books at the library: A few Stephen King novels and some Dr Seuss and Berenstain Bears books for Daphs.

It was then time for us to travel to the WIC office for my lactation consultation.

I arrived to an empty clinic and was called back within a few minutes.

Hope, my breastfeeding peer counselor, was very sweet. We did a weight check of Daphs and I kind of discussed the situation.

I then started feeding Daphs and in true form, Daphs started pulling away and crying, only to search out more food and repeat the process.

Hope thought my situation was ‘interesting.’

So after I fed her on one side, we weighed her, and then I fed her off of the other side.

When it was all said and done, Daphs took in 2.1 ounces total. Hope was impressed with how quick and efficient Daphs was at eating. I have to admit that I was frustrated to hear that Daphs was only extracting 2 ounces total.

Hope suggested Fenugreek (I had to tell her right off that I have been taking it for a month now)

She also asked “Do you like oatmeal?” I replied “I eat two bowls a day.”

She told me to ask my doctor about a prescription to help me improve milk production, but she didn’t mention the name and I forgot to ask. She suggested that I keep doing what I’m doing (so basically, keep letting Daphne cry and scream after she extracts just a little milk?).

Hope thought the problem was that Daphs just didn’t wanna work for the milk after letdown. She set up an appointment for me and Daphs to see another breastfeeding counselor tomorrow (Hope would be out of the office). She said that they will most likely set me up with a SNS,  a supplemental nutrition system. It’s basically a bottle with a long thin tube that you place at the nipple so that when baby feeds, baby gets to nurse from you and still get supplemented milk from the bottle/tube.

Tomorrow morning is my appointment there. We’ll see how it goes.

I’m a bit frustrated.

I have been working really hard at pumping and feeding her more. I could tell a difference–like I’ve been producing more. Yet, in all of this, Daphs still is taking in very little and shows aversion to me. She hasn’t gained a single ounce. Not a one.

I can’t keep this up. Daphs needs to eat so she can grow. When I’m strapped on my pump and I feel like a milking cow, I often wonder “Is it worth all of this? In the big scheme of life, is it worth it?”

Who knows.

Tonight as I tried to feed Daphs (one of the many times she wouldn’t take me), I had another thousand mile stare. Tears welled up inside me and my whole chest clenched. I feel out of place, out of body.  Definitely discouraged.

Daphs and I spent the afternoon reading and singing together. Here she is singing a duet with me!

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day all around.

Today was Daphne’s 3 month birthday (Happy Birthday, little love!) and I hoped to take some awesomely darling pictures, but she was too fussy to cooperate.

The 2 appointments came and went.

It was 1 heck of a day.



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