Daphne. Oh sweet Daphne.
My little love grows so much day by day. Flipping through her pictures makes me want to cry, especially knowing that she will continue to grow and change. I am absolutely excited to continue to help mold her into the awesome person I know she will be. I cannot fathom her pet peeves, her likes, or even what she will look like at 5 years old.
In my heart lies so much joy and excitement for this little life.
Today, after I nursed her, I held her in my lap facing me and I started singing to her. I hadn’t sang “You are my sunshine” to her in a really long time, so I started singing that.
She stared up at me with those big blue eyes. Her mouth switched between being open and shut and she just blinked as if in amazement or confusion. She made cooing sounds every now and again.
It was a moment of bliss.
Halfway through the verse, I noticed a smile creep onto her lips. She squinted her eyes a little and she gave me a smile. I giggled out of joy. She liked my singing! A split moment later, her brows furrowed and she pushed out her bottom lip into a frown. Next thing I knew, she was filling her diaper. Maybe not the moment of bliss I had previously experienced…maybe just gas. I am loving these little moments that just her and I share.
I suppose it won’t always be this way. There will be moments that our wills are tested against each other and we won’t agree. I hope with all my heart that Sam and I can foster great communication skills and a loving open home so that she does not drift. I want to share every moment with Daphne–the joyous and the devastating. I want to be there for her. I want her to know that I am always here for her.
My heart is flooded with joy—not only for my thoughts of my lovely daughter and her future, but also for my current feelings about myself and life.
I weighed in today at 165–down 21 pounds from delivery 12 days ago and just have 9 left to go. I started working out two days ago doing gentle leg and arm exercises, making sure I protect my belly and don’t over-work myself. Link to leg workout here. An AWESOME list of workouts and ideas here. I have been eating well, not as well as I was during my raw/paleo days, but definitely not bad.
Emotionally I feel great. I think it helps to have such an easy going baby and a helpful husband. I can’t imagine doing this without Sam. He has never faltered to fill a request or offer his help.
My side stitch is going away along with the pain behind my incision. My incision is still a bit numb, but I am not in pain.
I feel so blessed. We are eager to go back to Kansas for Christmas. Sam should find out tomorrow if we can book our flight and actually make the trek. If for some reason we cannot, I’ll whip out the tree soon and we’ll decorate it this week!
Pregnancy is fading from my memory. All those months of morning sickness, swelling, and research seem like so long ago. I won’t ever forget labor and birth, but the intensity of the memory is fading with every passing moment that I hold my daughter and kiss her forehead. It was all worth it. It was all absolutely worth it. Would I do it again? Without a doubt.