New symptoms and doubts

First, if you are low on nicknames for your kiddo or little one, here’s a great list to inspire you.

Nicknames for little love!

These past few days/nights have been interesting. Since Hurricane Sandy decided to sweep across the coast, We’ve experienced just a little fallout. We’ve had extra wind, a little rain, and cooler temperatures. My house currently is chilling at 55 degrees.

I find it hard to sleep in such cold temperatures! I put an extra quilt on the bed but still found myself shivering through the past few nights. When I get cold, I tense up. I’ve noticed the joints in my fingers are stiff and sore in the morning.

In addition to sore joints I cannot get comfortable when sleeping. I generally toss and turn more than ever due to pain in the outside of my hips. I think this is from me laying on my sides and all the extra pressure and weight on those hip joints. Even bouncing/sitting on my stability ball is uncomfortable nowadays. I feel a bit of pressure on my low back and  (as odd as it sounds) slight burning in my nether regions. I’m left to bounce for a few minutes, then rearrange myself, take a walk, and try to get comfortable elsewhere.

I’ve had a noticeable increase in braxton hicks. Still no pain accompanying them though. I still cramp a bit late into the night and into the morning. I have round ligament pain on my left lower side that springs up at night.

I can’t complain about the changed relationship I’ve had with my toilet, however. Yea…you really wanna know, right?! I have not thrown up in such a long time and my body seems to be letting go of the foods I eat easier (read: no being backed up and constipated). I am SO thankful for this. I have read that loosening of the stools is the body’s way of prepping for labor and birth. Yay.

I have a feeling that little one will be born soon. I just don’t feel right. That notion paired with the fact that I don’t feel well leaves me unsettled about labor and delivery.

I wouldn’t say that I am having doubts about having my baby med-free, but I am a little unsettled as the time gets closer for the actual event. Nervous might be a better word for it. Am I psychologically prepared for this marathon event? Do I have the coping techniques I will need to get through the pain?

Last night as I was tossing and turning due to hip pain, I thought about labor and birth. I often do this when I can’t sleep to help realign my thoughts and preconceived notions towards birth and pain. Last night I was hit with some sort of uncertainty inside of me. Self doubt. It was really hard to move past it.

I am one week away from my due date. This means that baby is going to be here within a few weeks, no matter what. As amazing of a thought as that is, it’s overwhelming. How will my body respond afterwards? Will Sam and I adjust okay? Am I going to make it through labor the way I want to?

I know a lot of it is just that I need to relax and trust my body and my instincts. It’s still a bit scary!

Sharing the personal details of my experience with pregnancy may be a bit TMI for some people, but I find it helps me get all my feelings and thoughts organized outside of my head. If I leave them in my head, I feel as if I’m doing myself a disservice. Besides–for someone looking for a real life – normal woman account of pregnancy, mine could help someone out. Maybe I am being vain thinking someone cares to read about my bodily functions while I grow a human, but years down the road, when I’ve forgotten all about pregnancy and can only see my kid running around the house, it might be nice to remember through my written account.

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