I hate scales.
I always have.
Scales tell half truths.
You are immediately defined by a number when you step on the scale.
You are “too heavy” or “too thin” for your height.
Some scales tell body fat percentage and the water make-up of your body.
What’s with it–being defined by a number?
I have never liked getting weighed. Now that I am pregnant I have to get weighed each time I go to the doctor. When I think about it now, I should just face away from the scale or turn away, or even ask not to know my number. Would that help?
I stepped on the scale this morning after waking up. I tell ya what–there’s no other way to make me bummed out quicker. I have never seen my weight that high.
It is very sobering. This means that I have gained 14 pounds in my 20 weeks of pregnancy. Some women gain that in their whole pregnancy and some women gain that within the first few weeks of being pregnant. Each woman is different and I do not compare myself with anyone. I compare my pregnant self with my pre-pregnant self. This isn’t fair, ladies!
I am carrying life, nourishing another soul within me. How is it fair to compare my body or my weight with my body pre-pregnancy?
Here I am when I feel sexy and am having a wonderful self confident day:
ANNNNNND Here I am when I feel crappy about myself:
It is expected for a woman to gain weight while pregnant. Let’s assume you gain about 29 pounds during pregnancy.
(lost at birth or soon after)
7.5 pounds: Baby
4 pounds: Water
3 pounds: Blood
2 pounds: Amniotic Fluid
1.5 pounds: Placenta
(retained at birth)
7 pounds: Fat and Protein
2 pounds: Uterus
2 pounds: Breasts
When you think about it, all that weight is going somewhere for baby or helping baby in some way. I know I get SO discouraged to see that number go up even though it is for baby.
Okay. That’s a lie. I don’t just get discouraged. I get upset. Depressed. REALLY self conscious.
I admit that I have confidence/self esteem issues. It’s not just the number on the scale that bothers me. It’s how I take care of myself and the lack thereof (and as I said before, comparing myself now with pre-pregnancy self).
*On a side note, do I really think anyone in my family or friend circle is going to make rude comments to me? Does anyone care? No! They are too worried about their own lives (rightfully) and it’s naive of me to think anyone cares about my jiggle or weight but me. Seriously Jenna…take a freakin’ chill pill.*
*** EDIT! My mom pointed out something to me. Of course family and friends care. Sometimes things that need to be said don’t get said. I didn’t mean for my post to sound like “No one loves me and no one cares!” I mean to say that it’s pretty selfish and absorbed to think that everyone cares about my weight like I do, that everyone else cares about how I look like I do. Thanks mom!*****
When I found out I was pregnant, I was so adamant on only eating clean and healthy.
Have I? Not exactly.
I started out this pregnancy feeling relatively decent and positive.
AND THEN came the nausea while seasick spinning on a roller coaster.
I ate what I could that wouldn’t upset me. I got out of the habit of juicing.
Now that I am feeling better, I want to eat better. I still eat salads and fresh fruits daily. However, I still am not where I want to be with putting healthy foods in my body for me AND now especially to give baby the best start I can.
With that comes issues about my lack of exercise. Excuses encourage procrastination and complacency.
“It’s too hot outside.” : A genuine excuse but does not excuse workouts that can be done inside.
“I just ate.” : Well…then plan ahead next time or workout after you wait an hour.
“I feel jiggly and don’t have any motivation.” : MORE of a reason to workout. Exercise makes you feel better and tone up.
“I don’t like my workout.” : Change it up. Try something new…walk. Jog. Buy a new workout dvd. Sign up for a gym. Try an exercise bike.
All this to make the point that if you want to bounce back after pregnancy, staying active must be encouraged.
So what am I gonna do about it?
I’m gonna reinact Liar Liar.
Fletcher: You scratched my car!
Impound Guy: Where?
Fletcher: [showing him] Right there!
Impound Guy: Oh. That was already there.
Fletcher: You… you liar! You know what I’m going to do about this?
Impound Guy: What?
Fletcher: Nothing! Because if I take it to small claims court, it will just drain eight hours out of my life and you probably won’t show up, and even if I got the judgment you’d just stiff me anyway. So what I’m gonna do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe!
Impound Guy: You’ve been here before, haven’t ya?
Sadly, I’ve been there before. “I’ll change! I’ll do better!” “I’ll start working out tomorrow!” All that turns into excuses and procrastination most of the time. I cannot blame anyone for my own feelings or actions.
I love the movie Bridesmaids. Melissa McCarthy plays Megan, the butch sister of the groom to be. She got on Annie for feeling sorry for herself. It’s gotta be one of my favorite parts in the movie.
Megan: You lost Lillian. You got another best friend sittin’ right in front of you, if you’d notice! Huh? You can stop feeling sorry for yourself, okay? Cause I do not associate with people that blame the world for their problems. Cause you’re your problem, Annie. And you’re also your solution. Right? I mean that’s…you get that?
I am my own problem and solution! I can choose to think positively and encourage myself to take each day for itself and make healthy choices for me and baby. I am so thankful to be pregnant. I am understanding that this time in my life won’t last forever. I am realizing that I would rather look back on my pregnancy and see positivism and love rather than self imposed put downs and negativity.
What matters is that little one is healthy. What matters is that my husband loves my pregnant body and tells me daily. What matters is to have a positive and thankful attitude. If I remember what really matters, this topic is a no brainer.